


Forum Moderations

by Kamary



Series: The Jersey Devil [10]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Multi, Online Forums, Other, Slice of Life, Years Later, polymory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5279699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamary/pseuds/Kamary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rather concerned that Chara of all people has been running your pet project forum all by themself, you go to check out a few of the pages they have posted on, and what you find, is well… A gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forum Moderations

**Author's Note:**

> The story of Dirk Knifely:
> 
> In one game of Pathfinder I played, two other players adopted a sentient knife and named him Dirk Knifely. Ever since, I've adored the name and use it wherever I could. Bonus that the original Dirk Knifely turned out to be a demonic artifact.

If you kept this up, you really were going to go stir crazy. To work was to live, you had always thought. Now you could not work. The first few days was nice, but once you hit a week, that was when it became a problem.

And how could you take a whole week off? There was so much work to do. Asriel, however, wouldn’t even let you keep your phone with you to text Bearington about how things were going. You didn’t have any important meetings and your co-workers could take care of most of the paper work, but this still made you uncomfortable.

You flitted from thing to thing to do in the home. You could do the things you had promised to do when you had spare time, cutting your hair and checking on your various personal projects, but you didn’t feel like it. No, you had to invent new things to do. Of course, this wasn’t approved by everyone in the home.

You’re like ten steps away from getting your head bitten off by Chara. You can no longer count the number of times Chara has told you that, no, you can’t help them out in the kitchen, on your hands. If they catch you trying to vacuum once more, you are pretty sure they are actually going to kill you. You know Chara likes to have a purpose and a sense of control. You were trying not to step on their toes, but it was hard. When did the house get so boring?

After being pushed out of the kitchen for the sixteenth time, you finally worked up the effort to check on one of your pet projects. It’s not (completely) work related, so you think this will be fine. It’s just a little forum you put together with Alphys’ help.

When humans and monsters started to date upon reaching the surface, there became a lot of questions, questions no living person knew the answers too. Even now, there weren’t that many monsters, so a lot of humans had lived their lives never running into one, and then would finally fall in love with a handsome dog or a cute volcano. A lot of these people didn’t know who to talk to, so you went out of your way to make sure these people had a place to go to find someone who could tell them these things were alright. …You are beginning to understand why Asriel and Chara think you are going to work yourself to death.

Opening up your non-work laptop, you pulled up the url. You were the main moderator of the site, but because you worked, you had a few extra moderators as well. Alphys, of course, helped with tech things but didn’t feel comfortable giving people relationship advice. Not knowing many others in human-monster relationships, you asked your datefriends to help you. Asriel was eager, but Chara… Not so much. You’d gotten a few more admins since then, but you and your datefriends were still the ones with the most administrative power (even if you never used it).

It had been around five weeks since you’d last been on the forum (bad Frisk!), and a quick search told you that Asriel hasn’t been one for a few weeks either. That wasn’t a surprise. Being a teacher was hard work. How he puts up with those kids everyday, you will never know. What did come as a surprise was the fact that the one who have been on the site most was Chara. They were online almost everyday, judging by all the posts that said “Last commenter: DirkKnifely”.

You internally groan at that name. Why did they have to choose that one? Asriel thought it was clever, but you accounted that to him being raised by Asgore. He had no sense as to what was a proper name, like yours, “AmbassadorDetermination” (there have been some complaints you love your title a little too much. It’s not about flaunting your power around, you just like the way that it sounds. Plus, it mean you have a role to play). Asriel had chosen the less impressive “FluffybuttJr”. But DirkKnifely was just silly.

Rather concerned that Chara of all people has been running your pet project forum all by themself, you go to check out a few of the pages they have posted on, and what you find, is well… A gift.

\---

**Topic: My boyfriend is getting fur everywhere!**

_Bluejays4ever_ : My boyfriend and I, a dog monster who I love with all of my heart, have recently moved in together. I must be some kind of idiot or something, not thinking of it in advanced, because ever since, my home has been filled with dog hair. Is there anyway way to stop dog monsters from shedding?

 _DirkKnifely_ : 1, you are an idiot. 2, the solution is a vacuum. If you’re going to live with a monster that has fur, and I can tell you this because my boyfriend is a big fuzzy goat monster, you need to vacuum everyday. If you don’t have the time for it, ask them to. You need to take time for this.

 _FluffybuttJr_ : I’m sorry about them. One other piece of advice is dayly grooming. It’s helps reduce the amount they shed.

 _Bluejays4ever_ : Thanks, Fluffybutt! I tried the grooming thing and it’s been working great. The big guy loves it! ;)

 _DirkKnifely_ : You put that winky face away right now. I didn’t need to know that.

 _FluffybuttJr_ : I’m so sorry about them.

[topic locked by admin _FluffybuttJr_ ]

\---

**Topic: The Big Kids Question**

_ScalesandScarfs_ : My girlfriend and I really love each other, but I can’t imagine a future without kids. Is there any way for humans and monsters to have children?

 _DirkKnifely_ : Don’t try it. Kids born between human and monster parents have weak bodies and get sick really easy. It’s not a good life.

 _ScalesandScarfs_ : Oh, I see.

 _DirkKnifely_ : I suggest adoption. If you can’t see yourself adopting a kid that’s not of your own blood, try surrogacy. The same goes for your girlfriend. It’s not uncommon for monsters to draw up surrogacy contracts.

 _ScalesandScarfs_ : Oh, sweet. Anyone willing to work out a deal?

 _DirkKnifely_ : Don’t advertise that here! Friends and family are best for that!

[topic locked by admin _DirkKnifely_ ]

\---

**Topic: My parents are threatening to throw me out of the house if I don’t stop dating Tsundereplane**

_Acepilot_ : I love my datefriend. I never felt there was anyone for me until I met them. But, my parents hate monsters. I don’t want to break up with tsundie, but I can’t afford to live on my own.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Sorry to hear about that. Your parents sound like racist pricks. Don’t let them win. If you end up getting kicked up, go to this link. Normally the Monster Help Association only help monsters in need, but I think they’ll make an exception in your situation. Just make sure you have Tsundereplane there so they can vouch for you.

 _Acepilot_ : Thanks so much! I feel a lot safer.

 _B-baka_ : It’s not like we were worried or anything, b-baka, but I guess I can thank you.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Take care of yourselves.

\---

**Topic: Hot Skeleton Alert!**

_Bonezone_ : There’s this really hot skeleton guy who comes jogging by my work everyday. I’m thinking of asking him out. How do you know if a skeleton is interested in you?

 _DirkKnifely_ : Just don’t. You’re in for a bad time.

 _Terahtory_ : I think I know the skeleton that you’re talking about. He’s already in a committed relationship. There are only a few skeleton’s left now, so I doubt that he’s a different one. Sorry.

 _Bonezone_ : Well, will you at least update me if he becomes single?

 _???_ : bad idea. i checked your internet history, by the way. it’s always a good idea to do. if you put one grubby hand on my baby brother, i will find you, and you’re gonna have a bad time. you’ve been warned.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Warned you.

[topic locked by _???_ ]

\---

**Topic: I think I might only like monsters???**

_StarlightDreams_ : I’ve never really been interested in humans. My whole life I thought that I was asexual. Then a bunch of monsters moved into my town and holy shit! It’s not just one, but I like so many of them? Is this just how all people feel around monsters, or is this something else?

 _DirkKnifely_ : You’re a dirty future monster fucker. Welcome to the club, kiddo.

 _StarlightDreams_ : Thanks?

 _DirkKnifely_ : Don’t thank me. Thank the world for making so many hot monsters.

 _StarlightDreams_ : Amen.

\---

**Topic: Is the hot spider lady going to eat me if we date?**

_Hazel4332_ : ^

 _DirkKnifely_ : Yes.

 _FluffybuttJr_ : No, no, she won’t. Don’t listen to them.

 _DirkKnifely_ : She could.

\---

**Topic: Kissing a slime**

_Greeneyedbabe_ : My girlfriend doesn’t have any lips, how exactly are we supposed to kiss? I mean, it’s not a requirement for me, but…

 _DirkKnifely_ : Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Find something else.

 _Coolgirl90_ : I understand the feeling, Green. My datefriend doesn’t have hands, and they felt bad that I couldn’t hold their hand. In the end, I just ended up holding their tail while we walked.

 _DirkKnifely_ : See, get creative.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Wait. Green is not a creative colour. :)

 _Greeneyedbabe_ : You were so helpful until now…

 _DirkKnifely_ : Can’t help myself.

 _Greeneyedbabe_ : Update, we’ve decided just to nuzzle.

[post locked by admin _DirkKnifely_ ]

\---

**Topic: Monster marriages**

_QuestioningQuanities_ : I wanted to know how monsters got married. Not that it’s coming up anytime soon for me, but I was curious.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Underground, monsters used to journey to Waterfall and whisper promises of eternal love into the echo flowers. If the message was gone the next day, it was accepted and the monsters were bound together forever. They’d then preform some magic to make it official, and ta-dah, married.

 _QuestioningQuanities_ : Huh.

 _DirkKnifely_ : On the surface, more monsters have gotten into mixing their traditions with hhuman traditions. I’ve heard replacing rings with echo flowers is becoming pretty popular. When you do decide to get married, just do what you want. Monsters are creatures of creativity, most traditions are flexible for them.

 _I’mnothellboy_ : Except puzzles.

 _DirkKnifely_ : Except puzzles, for some reason.

\---

The posts went on and on. More likely than not, Chara was the first person to comment on anything. Some of these conversations were funny, others were tragic. Chara handled themselves surprisingly well. Sometimes they were too harsh, but when they needed to be, they could be rather kind. You typed a few replies in some of the forum posts and headed back into the kitchen.

“No,” Chara began. “You can’t help. I don’t get why would keep insisting.”

You rolled your eyes. “It actually wasn’t about that. I just checked the monster human relationships forum. I was surprised to see you posting so often. I didn’t think that you were so talkative.”

You could see Chara’s eternally flushed cheeks turn a slightly deeper shade of pink at that. “It’s not that I don’t like to talk. I don’t like talking to people in person. Here, I can ban them whenever I like. It’s kind of nice, talking to people over the internet…”

You chuckled lightly. “Maybe I should go call Alphys and tell her the good news. You’ve started to take after her. Maybe your future as her lab assistant isn’t impossible.”

They splashed you with a bit of the water they were using the clean the potatoes. It was a running joke between you and the rest of the family. When Chara was young, they had a big crush on Undyne, following her everywhere. This resulted in them being very jealous of Alphys for a while. And then that jealous changed into another one of their kiddy crushes. Chara was the type to crush on ever appealing monster, but those crushes left them easily. That didn’t stop them from being Alphys’ lab assistant for a while, even after the crush turned to admiration and then eventually into mutual respect. The job ended, however, when the human government took an interest in Alphys’ lab work. The human presence was all it took to drive Chara away.

“Whatever.” Chara rolled their eyes. “It’s just easier. Plus, the people need the advice. Yes, yes, all humans are terrible, and I’ve said it a thousand time. It’s just some humans are less terrible than others and I think I should help make them even less terrible… For the monsters in their lives.”

You grinned. Chara didn’t want to admit it, but they were changing. They’d always hate humans as a whole, but were beginning to get to the point where that accepted some humans, on an individual level, were somewhat okay. It took a lot of a maturity for them to reach that point. You don’t think they’ll be able to talk to any human but you without panicking, but this is something.

You hug them from behind, burying your face into the back of their head. They’re so tiny, so you have to lean down a little.

“You’re doing a great job, Char.” You placed a kiss on the crown of their head. Even from here, you could feel them heat up in embarrassment. “I am so proud of you. I guess I can leave forum care to you. Thanks for that.”

Chara gently shrugged you off, while trying to make it look like they weren’t trying to be gentle. You knew they were though. They’d never hurt you.

“Don’t be such a sap.” They rolled their eyes. “Anyway, can you leave me alone? I need to clean this potatoes before I can start on cooking them.”

You take a few steps towards the door.  “Oh, and thank you for giving me a reason to love you besides your hot legs.”

You giggle as you as chased out of the kitchen by Chara flinging some of the sick water at you.


End file.
